We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
