Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
