new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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