In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
