Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
