I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
