please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
