Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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