So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do vagina's smell?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
