So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
