I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
