I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
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