Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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