All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
