Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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