even my farts smell like vagina
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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