i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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