he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
