My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
