yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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