Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
