I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
