Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
