I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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