I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
