ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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