I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
