no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
