Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
