Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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