all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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