I think my fart just growled at me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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