went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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