I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
