Its about making memories worth repressing
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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