I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
