I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
