UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
