How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
