just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The best revenge is premature balding
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
