the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
