What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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