isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
