I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm both gender and math confused
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
