I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
