So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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