I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
