Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
