yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
