what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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